Ambitions: Twinbrook Is Crazy Ugly… No Lie

I guess I need to post proof of my claim that the folks of Twinbrook don’t have a whole lot going for them in the “looks” department and Carla wanted to see pictures.  Before we delve into that, let me express that I like unique features and whatnot… but there’s a fine line between unique and plain fugly.  Pre-mades with this franchise in general have always left something to be desired.

Just when you thought PUDDING FACE was bad, along came Twinbrook…

There’s not enough eye bleach on the planet for this place.

You have been warned!

Check out this loving little duo.  Scared yet?  I am.  I can’t decide if he’s a mob boss from Godfather or some sleazy car salesman trying to swindle me into buying a lemon.  Either way, eeueugughgh!

And check the kiddo.  All kids are cute?  LIES AND PROPAGANDA!

Okay, let’s ignore the totally unflattering leopard print mini and revealing tank top for a minute.  You can’t see her face all that well here, but trust me when I say this lady is a packing a nose that does not exist in any other “reality” than this one.  The lady she’s fox-trotting with hasn’t got much better.  In fact, she’s hidden because my eyes just can’t take it.

From what I’ve seen, DeAndre Wolf in the back is pretty normal looking.

HOYES.  LOOK AT THAT FACE, LADIES!  Makes you melt, doesn’t it?  It may not look as bad from this angle, but wait until he turns and his profile is exposed.  Holy crap!  I like a prominent nose, but that’s not even a nose so much as a moon orbiting his face!

The dopey look he has reminds me very much of Goopy… only, with more banjos playing in the background.  Didn’t I see this dude in Deliverance?

Before you tsk me and say, ‘but Mao, that’s very obviously a clown’ let me assure you that it is not.  If this… lady… were in fact a clown, I’d probably be relieved.  Instead, she’s just another citizen of Twinbrook.  Eeeyaaah.  This is not a default face, folks, someone worked very hard to make this sim painful to gaze upon.

Now just imagine her sneaking into your precious, simulated family lines!

(evil laughter)

Poor CloneBeryl doesn't understand why I'm making her visit all these scary people...

This deserves some preface.  Pretty innocuous at first glance, right?  Wrong.  I work for the State Police Forensics Lab and happen to spend some of my time in the Drugs department.  The ladies in the lab were looking at before and after pictures of people who had become addicted to meth.

Can you guess which picture category this little philly falls under?

Yeeeah…

Two words–Serial Killer.

’nuff said.

Holy jumping crickets!  I’ve heard of a hard life, but this woman looks like she’s been wrung through the wringer a few times too many.

Even worse?  Add the two people above and you get the following…

YEOW!  It’s like, she wouldn’t be so bad, but it’s extreme feature after extreme feature.  At that point, it’s no longer cartoony so much as just… awful.

Aw yeah, check out this champ!  You know you want a piece of this, ladies… just check out that hat.

Now imagine what those wonky cheeks would do to your family line for generations to come.

Woo!

And in case I didn’t frighten you out of reproducing with this lot, check this child out.  Poor thing, he never had a chance!

These are only a few of the many, many citizens of the very populated Twinbrook.  My recommendation is, before you move your precious sim in… DESTROY THEM ALL!

10 comments to Ambitions: Twinbrook Is Crazy Ugly… No Lie

  • *blink, blink*

    I can’t…my eyes…they burn! Wow! I can’t believe they’re so ugly! Why would EA do that? Your commentary had me cracking up though! Haha!

    • Mao

      They do it to us every time, only it seems to be getting progressively WORSE! I don’t even know what they were going for here.

      Whatever it was/is/etc… they should have given us free eye bleach!

  • Wow. Yeah…they are definitely ugly. I was going to reply and say who was the worst but I can’t even decide.

    At least in TS2, when you’ve got ugly townies/playables, you can control their breeding! This fug could be all over the place before you know it!

  • I think the guy in the first picture has a genetic defect. His nose appears to be attached to his upper lip. O.o

  • Josie

    I was thinking that when I started my first game there I went out to explore and I’m like “whoo are these people hiring nowadays?!”

  • Jasmine

    Actually all these features, I’ve seen it on REAL people before. I’m not kidding. The 3rd guy’s bulbous nose, I’ve seen it on a few Asians before. The last child looks like a Latino kid I knew, and I thought he was perfectly normal looking. I think it’s wrong to just say “oh, because they don’t have symmetrical European features, but extreme ones therefore they are ugly”. Although some of them could do with makeovers and cut down on their drug use.

    • Mao

      Meh, any TS3 sims look fucking terrible when you try to make them unique. Go EA Games. Strive for that homogeneous throw-up that Hollywood spits out.

  • Maya

    I am playing an uglacy in Twinbrook, still on 1st gen (made it a few hours ago) the baby daddy is the first guy. c: Let the fugly begin >:D

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